Or Iron Heinrich.
Yes, people, let us consider Iron Heinrich, surely one of the most random, interesting and mysterious side-characters in the history of fairy-tales. Most side characters have a few strange little bits or pieces about them, or randomly cease to exist when the writer decides there are More Interesting Things Happening Over Here Now and It Is Not Necessary To Tie Off Loose Ends In A Fairy Tale Dammit. But Iron Heinrich?
People.
People.
Here is why Iron Heinrich rocks as a side-character:
1. He only appears in the last paragraph or two of the story and yet was interesting enough for his name to be an alternative title.
2. The man has iron bands around his heart. That is badass.
3. Why did he put those bands around his heart? Because if he hadn't his heart would have exploded. Yeah. That's right. No wussy feelings for Iron Heinrich. He is all man. And all uranium.
4. His loyalty to the Frog King is such that he is apparently stalking him. Note his convenient appearance with convenient coach mere hours after Froggy's tranformation back into a human.
5. Happiness allows him to snap iron with. his. heart. Forget Chuck Norris, Iron Heinrich is five times more powerful!
6. His infinite patience. Despite explaining to Froggy what was going on the first time one of the iron bands snapped, he is willing to explain it twice more just so the prince will finally get the message. He doesn't lose his temper with his stalker of a master, freak out that his stalker of a master has blackmailed a young lady into marrying him, or have any comment on the implausibility of a frog rescuing a GOLD ball from a BOTTOMLESS well. He is a saint.
A saint.
I rest my case.
No comments:
Post a Comment